The Chaos of a Life that is Harry Potter's
by lilyevanspottersnape
Summary: Harry gets kicked out of the dursleys and goes to stay with Sirius which ends up with Harry Sirius Remus Snape and Draco staying at Hogwarts.   warning Drarry Slash, Self-Harm and swearing
1. Chapter 1

(NOTE I don't own any characters they belong to JKR I only own the storyline)

Chapter One

It was the summer holidays and although I was missing Hogwarts this was one of the best holidays I'd had. It started of the same as normal, Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon pretending I didn't exist and Dudley going out of his way to annoy me as I couldn't use magic outside school. One day I had been sitting on a swing in the play park smoking (this was my de-stressor now) when Dudley and his gang turned up.

"I'll tell mum you've been smoking and you'll get chucked out the house" He taunted.

"Ok" I replied "You do that." He seemed surprised by my reaction.

"Gimme one" he demanded.

And that was how it started. Dudley and I started to get on, smoking together, occasionally getting drink and just hanging out. One weekend Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia were going out for an important social event with Uncle Vernon's company so Dudley and I took the opportunity like any normal teenagers would and decided to through a party on the Friday night, continuing all of Saturday and we would clean up on the Sunday. The Friday went perfectly, people were dancing drinking having fun and of course there was the various hook-ups that happened. The Saturday was good till the evening when suddenly, out of the blue, Uncle Vernon turned up. Dudley immediately blamed me, claiming it was my idea. So obviously everyone was kicked out and I was told I had 24 hours to pack and "GET OUT OF MY (Uncle Vernon's) HOUSE!" Immediately I sent a letter to Sirius who said he would come get me and I could live with him at 12 Grimmauld Place.

As I was picking up all my stuff to walk out of the house for the last time (no sadness there) Dudley came in.

"Sorry for getting you kicked out Harry, this summer was fun"

"Yeah it was" I agreed picking up my stuff. "Seeya Diddykins" I teased. Dudley made a growling noise and I laughed.

Just as I walked out the front door I heard a crack and turned around to see, walking down the driveway having apparated into the back garden, Snape(?), Lupin and "SIRIUS!" I ran to hug my godfather.

"Ready to go?" He asked.

I nodded. As we turned to walk down the driveway again I heard running footsteps and a girl's voice shouting "Harry!" I turned. It was Hayleigh, one of the girls I slept with during the party. Thank god Uncle Vernon didn't know about the five girls and a guy I slept with in his house. I wouldn't have gotten the time to pack, I would have been chucked out without my stuff and just told 'tough'.

Hayleigh ran up to me and hugged me. While hugging me I felt her slip two small bags into my pockets. "That should get you through the next few weeks." She told me quietly. "I tried to get Jase to come too but he refused, said he was just a shag and you didn't really care about him. But he'll miss you. I will too. Promise me you'll visit again soon." I promised. "Good and please stop cutting" she begged. At this she gave a scared glance at the men behind me and ran off shouting "Byee love you Harry!"

I suddenly remembered they were there and turned around quickly, praying they didn't hear the quiet conversation. I scanned their eyes, Sirius obviously hadn't, Lupin didn't look like he had and Snape hadn't either, he was too busy murmuring something in Lupin's ear. Suddenly I did a double take as I realised Snape and Lupin were holding hands. I frowned and looked from one face to another. Snape smirked while Lupin looked slightly awkward. "Wait. You're..."

They nodded.

"Okayyy..." I found it hard to believe this, but I would never have expected it. That was definitely an unusual couple.

"We going now?" asked Sirius. I nodded and took his hand and we apparated to Grimmauld Place.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Harry disappeared up to his room when they arrived claiming he was tired. He suddenly remembered the bags Hayleigh had sneaked into his pockets. He opened the first bag and found packets of cigarettes, two lighters and some dope. He smiled; he needed to remember to thank her for that. In the other bag there was a small bottle of Vodka and some condoms. He laughed at the thought of him needing them while he was here. He could get away with that at privet drive where he was barely noticed but here he thought Sirius might notice.

At that moment Sirius nocked on his bedroom door and said dinner was ready. He shoved the stuff into the back of a drawer and went downstairs.

Dinner was a silent affair. Harry sat thinking about what had happened at the party: the drinking, smoking and drugs that happened to be precise. Not to mention the girls, or Jase. He couldn't believe Jase thought Harry didn't care about him and that he was 'just a shag'. Sure the girls were, but Jase was different. Well obviously, but excluding the gender he was different. Harry sighed remembering what happened between him and Jase.

Suddenly Harry got a feeling that something was intruding into his mind. Snape! Slowly Harry's had reached for his spoon and suddenly pinged it across the table at Snape, before turning and glaring at him. Lupin looked shocked at this. Sirius looked equally as shocked at it but couldn't help sniggering behind his hand.

Snape smirked and taunted "Very good Potter but did you realise I've been in your mind for ten minutes. I never would've thought you..."

"STOP!" Harry interrupted. He didn't know what Snape was on about but he knew he wouldn't want to share it with Remus and Sirius. At this he turned and fled the room, giving Snape a warning look meaning not to tell them ANYTHING.

Sirius and Lupin gave Snape a questioning look. Snape just said "He really needs to practice Occlumency."

Meanwhile Harry had fled up to his room and pulled his trusty razor out his case and slowly dragged it across his wrist. After a while he felt slightly better and fell asleep.

In the middle of the night, Harry woke up after a nightmare in which Voldemort was plotting to kill him, AGAIN. He needed a fag. He crept downstairs and out the back. He lit up and took a draw.

"Harry?" He jumped at Lupin's voice and hid the fag behind his back.

"Had a nightmare" He mumbled, "needed fresh air"

"Cravings?" asked Remus softly.

Damn He'd noticed thought Harry.

"I used to smoke you know, I know what it's like" Remus continued, "But you need to stop."

In the morning Harry came down to breakfast. Sirius looked up at him and anger flared in his eyes.

"You've been smoking!" Harry sighed. These adults are so annoying. He tuned out to Sirius' ranting and ate breakfast. Suddenly three owls arrived with letters from Hogwarts. One was obviously for Harry but the other two were for Sirius and Remus. Harry wondered what they were about until Remus looked up and smiled.

"I got the Defense against the Dark Arts Post!" he smiled.

Sirius looked up and said "I got the live-in auror!"

The live-in Auror? Harry thought. Seeing the confusion in his face, Remus explained.

"Hogwarts has a live-in auror every year for security reasons. They get an apartment in the dungeons, the pupils never see them."

"I'm a prefect?" asked Harry as the badge suddenly toppled onto his knee

"Congratulations Harry" said Remus.

"This means Remus and I will be leaving for Hogwarts a fortnight early but Dumbledore says you can come too." said Sirius. "It'll just be you, me, Remus, Snape and his godson Draco Malfoy."

Harry groaned, Malfoy. Of all the people it had to be Malfoy.

Remus turned to Harry "Maybe he'll surprise you; Draco's been through a lot recently." Malfoy's father had died in the battle at the ministry, a few days later his mother had killed herself. Harry doubted it but he just nodded.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Later on, Sirius came storming down the stairs with the two bags Hayleigh had given Harry in his hands.

"WHAT was this doing in your room?"

"What were YOU doing in my room?"

"It would appear he would be trying to confiscate your cigarettes" drawled Snape. "And as for the Vodka, Drugs and Condoms, Potter's thoughts of his party the other night would inform me that there was a lot of drinking, smoking and drug use going on not to mention the amount of people having sex. Six people spring to mind Potter and by the looks of it that wasn't the first time. I remember a 'friend' telling you leave a trail of broken hearts behind you wherever you go."

Harry glared at Snape then shuddered at the thought he had witnessed parts of all six of these while snooping in Harry's head. He was unsure how Snape had caught Hayleigh saying that, Harry had only considered it for a second. Harry was glad he hadn't mentioned Jase. Somehow he didn't think Sirius would react well to that.

"Harry! That's very irresponsible" chastised Sirius before chuckling "but you get the broken hearts thing from me."

Harry had to smile at that bit. That sounded just like Sirius.

The next day they all apparated to Hogsmeade and then went into Hogwarts. At dinner it was another silent affair but Snape wasn't in Harry's mind this time. After dinner Harry and Malfoy went to find the dorm they would be sharing this fortnight.

"So" drawled Malfoy "We'll be sharing a dorm Potter, hope you don't snore" he joked.

Harry laughed. "More like hope YOU don't snore. And call me Harry since we're going to be sharing a dorm."

"Ok call me Draco. Are you a prefect?" he asked.

Harry nodded.

"Same!" he smiled.

Giving up on polite conversation Harry left the room and wandered up to the Astronomy tower where he sat and lit a fag before staring into the sky.

"Got a spare?" asked Draco.

Harry jumped out of his skin. "Yeah but don't scare me like that I jumped about a foot in the air and I don't really fancy flying off the tower."

Draco laughed and took a fag.

The next morning the boys arrived at breakfast. "Sleep well?" asked Remus.

"No" said Malfoy smiling. He turned to Harry. "Potter wouldn't shut up! I knew you and Diggory got on well but really…' Harry chucked a piece of toast at him, Malfoy threw it back.

"I was probably dreaming about his death. But you should have heard yourself Malfoy… 'OOOH BLAISE! More please…" Malfoy 'accidentally' knocked the plate of toast on Harry's lap.

Harry gave a little grin that Sirius and Remus knew meant trouble, "Just cause you want to help me clean it off Malfoy.'"

Malfoy sneered at him, "Oh please Potter, If you were the last person on earth..." Harry gave another smile

"Now Draco, That's not what you were saying last night." At that moment Sirius choked on his coffee and Harry ducked to avoid Malfoy's spoon colliding with his head.

Malfoy stood up, "I don't have time for this." He said walking towards the door, "Hey Potter, Fancy being fed to the squid?" Harry took this to mean 'Come to the lake and give me a cigarette' so he nodded and followed Malfoy.

"They seem to be getting on okay," remarked Remus, looking first at Severus and then Sirius. They both grunted and turned back to their food. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

One day, Harry had had a particularly bad argument with Sirius he turned and fled to his dorm room. He felt terrible for arguing with Sirius, the only family he had left. He pulled out his razor and started to drag it across his wrist.

Suddenly Draco opened the bathroom door to find Harry sitting cross legged on the floor cutting his wrist.

"WHAT THE HELL POTTER!" Draco flicked his wand and the razor disappeared and the blood cleaned off his arm.

"So let me get this straight, Harry Potter, The boy who lived, Triwizard winner, The Chosen One is sitting hacking at his arm?" Draco raised his eyebrows.

"I'm not the chosen one!" Harry snapped "And I'm not hacking at it!"

"Whatever" said Malfoy. "Wanna talk about it?"

"No. Leave me be. And don't tell them!"

"Ok fine but only if you promise you'll stop it."

"Why do you care what I do?" Harry demanded.

"I just do. Now, I really need a fag. You coming?"

Harry nodded and they went to the astronomy tower. 

They sat talking for a while. Harry looked in Draco's eyes and couldn't help but think 'My god. He's absolutely gorgeous!' he paused. 'Wait a minute I can't be thinking that. I'm Harry Potter. HARRY POTTER. I can't go around thinking Draco Malfoy's gorgeous!"

Meanwhile Draco was going through a similar situation in his head. After a while Draco gave up and turned to Harry. He leaned closer and paused, taking a deep breath. Harry didn't seem to be pulling away. Their lips crashed together. He tangled his fingers in Harry's dark hair. His tongue explored Harry's mouth. Getting over the surprise that Draco wanted to kiss him Harry kissed him back, running his hands up and down Draco's back. They both felt the sparks flying. After a while Draco pulled away and ran from the tower.

Remus, Sirius and Snape had been watching them on the marauders map for the past hour.

All they saw was the two boys sitting on the tower for an hour when suddenly Draco left and ran off at an immense speed. Draco turned up in the dungeons.

"Sev? Can I talk to you? Privately?"

Severus got up, shot the other two a confused look and got up and followed the boy from the room.

Meanwhile Harry left the tower and went down to the dorm room. He was so confused. Was he that bad that Draco kissed him and then ran a mile? Sirius turned up at the room, having decided to talk to Harry and saw his godson sitting cross legged on his bed, tears streaming down his face.

"What's wrong" asked Sirius.

"I'm such a fuck up!" yelled Harry. "Anytime anything good happens I muck it up."

"That's wrong" soothed Sirius. "What could you possibly do that's that bad?"

"ikisseddraco" mumbled Harry.

"What?"

"I KISSED DRACO!" Harry yelled. "And then he goes and runs off! I am such a fuck up!" and with that he burst into tears and lay on his stomach, hiding his face in the bed covers.

Sirius just sat, stroking Harry on the back to comfort him, his thoughts buzzing. This was too much for him, he couldn't deal with this, it was bad enough getting used to Remus and Snape never mind Harry too. He slowly got up and left the room, trying not to make it seem like he was trying to escape.

Meanwhile Snape followed Draco out the room.

"ikissedpotter" mumbled Draco

"I didn't hear one word of that Draco" said Snape.

"I...kissed…Potter" said Draco.

"Oh..."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

The next few days were really awkward. Sirius, Snape, Malfoy and I were all thinking emmm... AWKWARD and Remus was just thinking what the hell is up with these people. Someone should maybe have told him, but I'm not going to go through telling anyone again. I don't think Malfoy would either. And Sirius is busy trying to pretend he wouldn't have a problem with me and Malfoy if we were together. So that leaves Snape. But he's Snape so he obviously didn't bother what a nice lover he is.

Malfoy and I were sitting in our dorm room in an awkward silence, neither acknowledging the other when Malfoy said. "I could really use a drink Potter, any idea how to get into Hogsmeade?"

I thought for a minute, should I tell him? Then I decided "Yeah I could really do with a drink too. There's a secret passage to Honeydukes, we could go there?"

"Ok" said Malfoy indifferently. We had obviously both decided not to talk about it and just pretend the whole kiss thing had never happened.

We went down the secret passageway and sneaked out the cellar and up through Hogsmeade to the Hogs Head knowing Madam Rosmerta in the Three Broomsticks wouldn't serve us.

"I really do love you Harry, you know that don't you?" slurred Draco.

"I love you tooooo" I replied. We were completely pissed and could barely stand.

Eventually the barman decided he was going to shut the place for the night and helped us floo back to Hogwarts. We flooed to the Slytherin common room, knowing that no one would be there and it was close to our dorm room.

I opened my eyes slowly, then clamped them shut tightly, as quick as I could. My head was killing me. Opening my eyes a crack I peered at my watch. SHIT! It was after 11, I'd missed breakfast and the adults would be wondering where I was. I couldn't remember what had happened last night. The last thing I remembered was sitting down at the bar in the Hog's Head. I'd better get up now I decided. There was a strange weight pushing down on my chest. I fully opened my eyes. I looked down at my chest and saw Malfoy's white blonde hair. Why was he sleeping with his head on my chest? We'd better not have done anything last night. I looked down. I was still fully clothed thank god, but I still couldn't be sleeping in the same bed as Draco. Imagine if Sirius walked in. I pulled myself quickly off the bed letting Draco's head fall onto the bed. "Ughhh" he groaned. Oops I maybe should've been more considerate.

Opening his eyes Draco clutched his hand to his head. "Oww my head hurts" he groaned. "What happened last night?" Suddenly, as though he'd only realised he wasn't in his bed he said, "Why am I in your bed Potter? What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything!" I argued. "I was hoping you might remember what happened and have an idea as to why we were both asleep in my bed with you lying your head on my chest."

"Nope I dunno but don't talk so loud, my head hurts."

I agreed. "I'm starving, you coming down to the kitchens to get something?"

Draco nodded and started to get up. He reached a hand to his hair.

"Oh my god my hair is a state..." he moaned.

"God, you poof" I joked, "who cares about your hair?"

"I do. I need a shower. NOW"

"You could use the Prefects bathroom now you're a prefect" I suggested. He nodded. "Mind if I join you?" I asked.

"Only if we both wear swimming trunks: I don't want you staring at me" he joked.

"That's not what you said last night Draco" I teased. His eyes opened wide in shock.

"I thought you couldn't remember" he started

"Calm down. I was joking"

We arrived at the Prefects bathroom and slid into the water. I couldn't help but stare at Draco's slim muscled chest. He was staring at my arms. I frowned and looked at my arms too. They were covered in thin pink and white scars. I'd forgotten about that. Oh well he already knew about it anyway. After a while I got bored of sitting talking and decided to start a bubble fight. I grabbed a handful of bubbles and shoved them into Draco's open mouth. He coughed and chucked a handful back at me. Soon there were bubbles everywhere. I looked up and saw the clock on the wall said it was about time for lunch. "We should probably go to lunch" I said. "They'll worry if we skip two meals." Draco nodded and we climbed out and got dressed, before walking up to the great hall.

We walked in and sat at the table, still talking and laughing, much to the confusion to the adults who assumed we would still not be talking.

"Where were you at breakfast?" asked Snape

"Overslept" Draco and I said at the same time. We grinned at each other and started helping ourselves to food.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

It was coming close to the start of term. I found this depressing as I knew Draco and I wouldn't be able to see each other during term time. It was on this thought I found myself sitting on my bed, dragging my razor slowly across my wrist. Suddenly Sirius walked in. I scrambled to cover my arms up. It was too late.

"WHAT THE FUCK HARRY!" Sirius screamed. "You're FIFTEEN. I've turn a blind eye to the drinking, smoking, drugs and sex but now you're self-harming too! Anything else you'd like to share while I'm here? Suicidal? Anorexic? Bipolar? OCD? Schizophrenia? ANYTHING I MISSED?"

(NOTE I don't have anything wrong with people with any of these conditions. In fact, I have a friend with a few, this is just for effectiveness)

Oh god... I thought. He was really freaking out now. Snape Lupin and Draco came running at the yelling. Draco sighed and shook his head and gave me a look as if to say 'I thought you were going to stop?' Snape frowned and sighed. Lupin just seemed in shock. Snape dragged me up to Madam Pomfrey to get some lecture on it and she gave me some stupid leaflet and threatened that if I did it again I would have to go see a therapist.

As soon as I was free I ran back to the dorm room, grabbed my fags and lighter and with a sympathetic look from Draco I ran to the Astronomy tower. Draco followed me there.

"Why?" he asked

"I dunno I just felt really depressed that school was away to start again and then we couldn't hang out, you'd get shit from the Slytherins, Ron and Hermione'd be all weird about it although they wouldn't say it too my face."

"You did it because you couldn't see ME once school starts again?" he asked, confused.

"I guess. I really like you ynno Draco." There I'd said it. I studied his face for his reaction. He was going to hate me wasn't he? He smiled.

"I really like you too Harry. And I don't care what the Slytherins think or Weaselby or the mudb... Granger" he corrected. "And neither should you. We're meant to be together Harry, no one can change that" he said reaching out to hold my hand.

I leaned over and rested my head on his shoulder. He smiled and looked down at me. I tilted my chin up to look at him. He leaned down and gently pressed his lips to mines. Sparks Flew. We kissed for ages, eventually we broke apart.

"We should go to dinner now" he said. He took my hand as we walked in, Sirius' mouth fell open, Lupin smiled and Snape smirked and muttered to Lupin "I told you so, now about that 10 galleons?"

I glared at him. He'd been betting on us getting together? Draco squeezed my hand and pulled me to the table.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

The next morning I woke up with Draco in my bed again. This time I woke up neither of us had any clothes, I could remember exactly what had happened and I wasn't hungover. I smiled remembering the last night. Next to me Draco woke up, smiled and rolled over on top of me and started kissing me.

At that moment there was a knock on the door and Sirius walked in. Apparently he'd learned it was best to knock before entering a room, he just didn't get the waiting bit. He looked slightly shocked to see Draco on top of me, his tongue shoved down my throat, both of us clearly naked, the duvet only covering us from waist down.

"Emm..." He spluttered "I... I... We wanted to check you were ok, you missed breakfast again."

Draco pulled his tongue out of my mouth. "We slept in" we both gasped.

"I can see that" said Sirius raising his eyebrows. "Just be careful" He warned.

I groaned. He walked out, shutting the door behind him.

"Now where were we?" Draco asked seductively.

I rolled him over so he was sitting on the bed, his back against the headboard. I straddled his lap and kissed him again.

This was going to be an interesting year at Hogwarts.


End file.
